Your relationship with your child is the building block of loving guidance and sets the stage for positive discipline.

 

Before your can start work on discipline, you have to build a relationship of love and trust with your child. If you know your child well and meet their needs in a sensitive manner, they will trust you and will want to please you. A positive parent-child relationship helps you to lovingly guide your child in a constructive and non-hurtful way. Children who grow up n a positive environment are more likely to feel safe, secure and loved. They are less likely to develop behaviour problems.

 

 

• Know what behaviour to expect for your child's age and stage
• Create a positive learning environment by responding to your child's needs, listening to them and encouraging them to share their feelings
• Provide a safe, interesting environment (For example: safe area to play, safe toys and equipment)
• Take care of yourself so you have the energy to be more patient and consistent with your child
• Use positive discipline

 

We use discipline to teach our children the difference between right and wrong. Discipline does not mean to cause pain or punish. Positive discipline is about teaching and guiding your child. Children learn why we need rules and how breaking the rules affect other people as well as themselves. In this way, we help children develop self-control.

 

It is also important to remember that each child is different and develops at their own pace. Your child's behaviour is influenced by their stage of development and whether they are capable of understanding what you are asking them to do.

 

Relax and don't worry about making mistakes. All parents learn by trial and error. Try to respond to your child in a warm, sensitive manner most of the time.

 

 

From the time a baby is born, they communicate with you! One way they will communicate with you is by crying. By crying, a baby can communicate their need to be fed, changed, held or comforted. This is normal!

 

You will not spoil your baby by holding them or responding in a warm and sensitive manner.

 

 

Babies explore their surroundings through touch, taste and movement from the time they are born. Between the ages of 4 months and 1 year, your baby will learn to sit, crawl, stand and perhaps even take their first few steps! It is normal for babies to want to explore their environment. This is all a part of normal growth and development and not forms of misbehaviour.

 

Babies do need some limits. For example, even if your baby fusses and cries, they still need to be safely buckled into their car seat. 

 

As a parent, you may find it challenging to always meet your baby's needs when you also have needs of your own. Parents need to have rest and time to themselves so that they can function in an effective way. Your baby will be able to learn that they cannot always get what they want but they will get what they need from you.

 

The love and trust that grows between the two of you now, along with your understanding of their unique needs and personality, will help you parent your child in the coming years.

 

 

Make sure your baby's environment is safe and interesting.  For example, baby-proof the environment your baby spends time in, especially when they begin to crawl. Provide toys that are appropriate for your family's developmental stage.

 

• Having a safe environment means that you can be more relaxed about parenting and your baby can explore without the risk of being hurt
• When the environment is interesting your baby will not be bored

 

Anticipate your baby's needs. As you get to know your baby, try to expect when your baby will be hungry, tired or needs less or more stimulation. This will allow you to be prepared before your baby's behaviour and emotions get out of control.

 

Use distraction. Babies have short attention spans and you can usually distract them from an activity or object that's not allowed.

 

Have realistic expectations. Remember: babies do not deliberately misbehave and they are only responding in a natural way. 

 

Relax and don't worry about making mistakes. All parents learn by trial and error. Try to respond to your child in a warm, sensitive manner most of the time.

 

 

Your child's unique personality is beginning to show! Your child can now recognize themselves in family pictures and indicate what they want in words. They can run, jump, climb and, by 24 months, go down steps by themselves with supervision. Your child is now learning to become independent but still needs you to make them feel safe, secure and loved.

 

At this stage, most children want to be independent. They will want to make their own decisions such as deciding what to wear. Your child may want to do things on their own like put their boots on without your help. At the same time, they may not want to do what you want them to do and they may not agree with your decisions. They may want to do things their way and when you do not let them, they may get upset and cry or have a temper tantrum.

 

Most children stop napping twice a day around one year of age. They may not be tired enough to have a morning nap but will need an earlier and possibly longer nap in the afternoon. A well-rested child is less likely to misbehave.

 

 

First, ask yourself: "Are my expectations for my child reasonable for their age?"

 

 

• Remember that you want to teach your child appropriate behaviour
• Avoid using physical punishment
• Use parenting strategies that allow your child to continue feeling positive about themselves
• Be patient and respond in a consistent manner most of the time

 

Be positive and use "do's" rather than "don'ts". Instead of saying: "You can't go outside until you put on your hat," try saying: "You can play outside after you put on your hat." Talking in a positive way makes it more likely that your child will respond in a positive manner. 

 

Set predictable routines and rituals. By being consistent, your child learns to expect what comes next. Children of this age are more likely to co-operate with a familiar routine. Whether your child needs one nap or two, be consistent by allowing your child to nap at home everyday. When you meet your child's needs for sleep, they will be more likely to behave.

 

Keep your requests simple. Your child is not yet capable of complex reasoning. Rephrase words in a way that your child can understand. Learn how to talk to your child as well as how to listen.

 

You can develop a positive relationship with your child by redirecting and distracting them when they misbehave. For example, if your child is about to touch an object they are not allowed, rather than shouting at them from across the room, go to them, take them by the hand, look them in the eye and get their attention. Talk to them in a calm, firm voice and offer them another activity.

 

If your child ahs a temper tantrum when they do not get their own way then ignore their behaviour and don't give in to their demands. Ignore your child's protests. As time passes, your child's outbursts should lessen. If you give in to their demands then they learn that one way to get what they want is to yell and scream.

 

Relax and don't worry about making mistakes. All parents learn by trial and error. Try to respond to your child in a warm, sensitive manner most of the time.

 

For more information on understanding and guiding your child's behaviour, visit Programs & Resources. 

Parenting can be a challenge. We can help.

 

For more information or to speak with a Public Health Nurse, please contact

York Region Health Connection at 1-800-361-5653
TTY 1-866-252-9933

 

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