A nightmare is a scary dream that happens early in the morning. Your child will wake up crying and will want to be comforted by you. Your child may remember parts of the nightmare when they wake up.

 

Nightmares are more likely to happen to children between the ages of 2 years and 6 years. Each day brings new experiences for children and they may find that some of these experiences make them feel scared. A 2 year old may be afraid of losing their parents. A 3 year old may be afraid of monsters or animals.

 

Anything that upsets your child can cause nightmares. 

 

 

• Immediately go to your child and comfort them. Your child's fear is real to them
• Stay calm. Getting upset will only make your child more afraid
• Tell your child the dream is not real, that they are safe and you will protect them
• Stay with your child until they fall asleep again

 

When a child has a night terror, they may be sitting up, thrashing, crying or screaming. Your child's eyes may be open and bulging and they may seem to be looking at something in the room that you can't see. They will appear to be awake but are actually still asleep. Your child will not be aware that you are in the room and may push you away if you try to comfort them.

 

Once the night terror ends, your child will become calm, lie back down and return to sleeping normally. A night terror usually happens 1 to 4 hours after falling asleep.

 

Night terrors can last from 10 to 30 minutes. You may find a night terror frightening because of your child's behaviour but your child will have no memory of the night terror in the morning.

 

Night terrors are common in children 3 to 5 years old. They happen less often after 5 years of age. The tendency to have a night terror may run in families. 

 

 

• Turn on the lights and tell your child softly that thy are safe
• If your child gets up and sleep walks during the night terror, gently guide them back to bed without waking them up
• Stay close by your child and keep your child safe. (For example: prevent your child from falling out of bed)
• Do not try to wake up your child as they will only frighten them more and make the night terror last longer

 

 

• Make your child's bedtime routines quiet and calm
• Choose topics in books that are pleasant to read
• Talk with your child about good things that happened during the day
• Use a night light and keep the door to your child's room open
• Reassure your child that you are close by and they are safe
• If your child is afraid of monsters, help them feel safe at bedtime by checking with them the places where they believe the monsters are hiding

 

It is normal for your child to have fears. Learning how to handle fear is a normal part of your child's development. Some children are more fearful than others. Between the ages of 3 and 6, your child's ability to think about and remember scary things increases and your child may be afraid of many things. By helping your child to feel safe when they are afraid, you will help them to cope with their fears. As their confidence and ability to understand develops, their fears will decrease.

 

 

Prior to 8 months of age, your baby does not experience fear. Between 8 and 12 months of age, your baby may start to react to loud noises or the dark. Running the vacuum or dryer at this age can cause fear. During this time, separation anxiety reaches its peak. Your child is starting to realize that other people are separate from them and they are afraid of losing you.

 

 

Comfort your baby when they are afraid in order to help them feel safe:

 

• Stay calm. If you get upset, you will increase your baby's fear
• Use a night light if they are afraid of the dark
• Reduce exposure to sudden loud noises

 

 

Your child fears the unknown or the unexpected. The active imagination of your child at this age often makes it difficult to know the difference between what is real and what is not. Loud noises, people dressed in different ways, strange places and strange animals can cause fear.

 

Fear to something specific can become generalized. For example, fear of a specific dog can become a fear of fur and stuffed animals. Everyday situations such as bath time or bedtime can also become fearful. By age 3 your child can separate from you without crying.

 

 

Although your child's fears may not be rational, take their fears seriously because they are real to them. You can help your child by:

 

• Staying calm. If you get upset, you will increase your child's fear
• Comforting your child when they are afraid by hugging them and being close by
• Reading stories or acting out situations that will help your child deal with their fear
• Praising your child when they face their fears successfully

 

 

Movies and television can increase fear. At this age, children start to become afraid of real life events. Fire, storms or being hurt can cause fear. The chance of these events happening may be small but your child does not understand this. As your child begins to understand their world, these fears will disappear.

 

 

Although your child's fears may not be rational, take their fears seriously because they are real to them. You can help you child by:

 

• Staying calm. If you get upset, you will increase your child's fear
• Reassuring your child that they are safe and you will protect them
• Talking to your child about why their fears are important to them
• Limiting your child's fears exposure to movies and television that contain images that make your child afraid
• Helping your child to understand that movies and television are not real
• Praising your child when they face their fears successfully

 

For more information on understanding and guiding your child's behaviour, visit Programs & Resources.