Sharing is an important skill because you need to know how to share to get along with others.  Your child's ability to really understand "sharing" does not happen until age 4.

From birth to 18 months, your baby only knows that when they want something, they want it NOW! Babies do not understand the concept of time or know that they will get what they want if they wait and they do not see themselves as separate from you. They think that you have the same needs and wants as they do. They are the centre of their universe and they expect everyone to give them what they want when they want it.

By 18 months, your toddler starts to learn who they are and learns about ownership of things. Your toddler will become aware of not only a "me" but also a "mine" as they start to see themselves as separate from others. The young toddler believes "what's mine is mine" and "what's yours is mine". Toddlers will grab whatever they want and cannot understand the needs of others.

By playing beside other children at this age, your toddler is learning that they are separate from others. Seeing themselves as a separate person from others is the first step to sharing. Once your child learns what belongs to them and what belongs to others, they will be able to share more readily.

By age 3, when your preschooler plays they will spend a lot of time deciding who will have what, who will do what and who can play together. This type of play establishes the social skills needed for friendship. Your preschooler needs lots of practice in order to learn to share, to take turns, and learn to enjoy friendship.

By age 4, your preschooler is starting to enjoy sharing. They can understand the concept of "now" and "later" and are able to wait for their turn. Your preschooler will enjoy playing games at this age. They can talk well enough to sort out who will have what, who will do what and who can play together. Your preschooler is now able to control their need to grab something from another child. They are also able to understand another child's point of view. Your child can now share!

• Share and take turns with your child. This will teach your child how nice it is to have someone share with them
• Share within your family. Your child watches and learns from you
• Allow your child to play beside other children but make sure there is enough room for your child's toys for them to play alone
• Praise your child when they allow another child to play with their toys
• Encourage your child to share a different toy if they do not want to share the toy they are playing with at the time
• Help your child learn to wait by giving them another toy to play with when they want the toy of another child
• Your child will have some toys that are special to them. Put these toys away when other children are visiting

Be patient. Learning to share takes time. Remember, if your child is ill or tired they will be less likely to share.

 

For more information on understanding and guiding your child's behaviour, visit Programs and Resources.